A change of pace! This entry might ACTUALLY be humorous! HUZZAH! But don't worry, I've still got plenty of drama. Chris' grandmother is being an uber C again. Say it with me now, yaaayyyyyyy!
As you have been reading, I was seeing the Yankee. Things were going "really" well and then they just stopped. Literally. I haven't heard from him in....two weeks? Maybe three? I've lost count. And before I get there, I feel that I need to fill you in on some details:
- He's 31
- From New York
- Doesn't want to stay in this county
- Catholic
- Family sounds relatively normal
- Has a vehicle (trust me, this NEEDS to be on my list)
- Has a pretty good job
- Has his a Masters degree and wants to get his Doctorate
- Physically fit
- Of Irish decent
- Plays sports on the side
- HIS MOM IS BFF WITH BETSY HILFIGER- TOMMY HILFIGER'S WIFE!
- His family is loaded
Now, a few of those things on that list I do not generally require (especially if you look at my past track record of boyfriends.....heh) but they were a nice bonus. ESPECIALLY the Hilfiger part. When he told me that, I thought to myself "I need to make this work at least until I meet them...." Haha...totally kidding!......or not....But, as you can see, he's great on paper. It's just the coming OFF the paper is where we had the problems.
He's a winker. Like, he winks. ALL.THE.TIME. I have never encountered that before and I HATED it. It made him seem so car-salesman-ish. Very smarmy. And usually my M.O. is to call the guy out on stuff that I don't particularly care for, and they either fall in love with me right then and there or they can't handle it. This time, however, I decided to be "nice" and not say anything. But truthfully, the winks made a piece of my soul shrivel and die with ever closed eyelid. He did triple-wink me one time (yes, I said triple-wink) and I couldn't help myself. "What was that?!", I said. "Haha, what?". I'm like, really dude? But I said "The triple wink you just gave me", and he was like "Oh, ya like that, huh?" And I said "No! You look like you got stuck! Are you having a spasm?". And then he just laughed. I laughed as well........at him.
The kissing. Umm......how do I say this? The kissing itself isn't SO bad per se, however, he would position his nose in such a way that it would stab me in the face. Like, it hurt. Bad. Do me a favor- extend your hand like you're going to backhand someone and then stab your face with your finger tips, a la "Bridesmaids". And he doesn't even have a huge shnozz! It's almost as if he doesn't know how to use it! But I would try to reposition my face in such away that would relieve the pain but then it would just end up in my eye. And stay in my eye. Which, I have a hard time understanding. I mean, I have eyelashes. Like, a lot of them. Soooo.....how would he not know that he was in my eyeball?
He also sweats profusely. Now, that really isn't an issue. I find it a liiiiitle bit gross but guys usually operate on a temperature that is slightly higher than us ladies. But it becomes an issue when you're in a situation and some of his sweat drips into your eyeball. So I'm laying there, trying to focus on the kissing while I've got sweat in one eye and a nose in the other. I'm like frickin' Popeye. He looked away for a minute so I took that as my opportunity to try to wipe away the sweat and then I'm like, "Shit! Now he's gonna think I'm crying!" So I quickly stop that. Well, after that little makeout sesh, I go into the bathroom and my hair was completely straight when we started. After, the hair framing my face was completely curly. SO GROSS!
And oh God, the dancing. THE DANCING! *facepalm*
Now, all of these things I was willing to overlook. You can politely encourage change sometimes, haha. The beginning of the end was because I was beginning to be used for lunch money (in a sense) and he started to kind of blow me off.
He had taken us to some really nice dinners so I offered a few times to pick up lunch. Well, as of two weeks ago, I had paid for the last four or five lunches we had. Again, not so much of a problem but he became very fond of a little cafe that I like that tends to be a little expensive. I'm talking $18, $19 lunches and I can't afford to do that three or four times a week. Strike one.
Strike two, the first time we actually DID have lunch after a good week and a half of not seeing each other (work drama), he complained about being broke. And this was after he told me he had just bought the brand new shirt and tie that he was wearing from Brooks Brothers. I just turned and looked at him and said "Dude, you make about $20 to $30 grand more than I do. And I just paid for lunch", and left it at that. Then we went to dinner the following day. When it came time to pay, he started patting his pockets. As soon as that started I knew what was coming. "We might have a problem..." he said. "And what problem would that be?" I replied. "I don't have my money clip...". I hope to God I had a look on my face because at that point I was pissed. I just looked at him and said "Don't worry....I got it." And he goes "Are you sure?" AM I SURE?!?! What other alternative did we have?!?! Ughhh....... Then we get back to my house and he goes "Well, if you would like, maybe we could do something.....I mean, if you wanted to". At that point I was so frickin' irritated and he would preface EVERYTHING like that! At first I thought he was just trying not to push me but at that point he should know better. So I turned to him and said "Why don't you just say that you want to see me?" And he looked at him like I was speaking chinese. So I continued, "You never just flat out say that you want to see me or spend time with me", and he goes "Well, I just don't want you to feel pressured to hang out with me if you get a better offer." .......Dudes, he was serious. I was like, "What better offer? That doesn't make sense!". So he goes "Fine, I want to see you tomorrow." and I was like "See? That wasn't so hard".
Strike three. All day Thursday we texted and everything seemed fine. After work I offered to come hang out with him while he was working an after school event (mind you, he works at a school that is five minutes from my house). He told me no because he was in the booth working the scoreboard and blah blah blah. So I told him that if he wanted, SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND MONEY, he could come by after the event and have some dinner since we had leftover homemade food (I should also mention that he eats out for every meal. No, I'm not kidding.). He said that that sounded really good, so, I thought I'd get to see him. He texts me at around 930 or 945 to tell me that he's done. "Yay! Now the question is, will I get to see you?", I respond. He goes, "Haha, oh beautiful..."
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Number 1: Way to be a condescending asshole.
Number 2: The only time he would call me beautiful is when he was telling me goodnight or telling me no.
So, I respond, "Yeah. That's a no". And then he sends me this big long thing how he's tired and blah blah blah. Again, he is right around the corner from my house and he could pass me on his way home. Stop in for five minutes and then head home. But, NOPE! I get a big long goodnight text too but I didn't say anything. Well, I didn't hear from him until 1130 the next day. "Lunch?". That's it. Nothing else. So, I said "Sorry, I can't today" and I have never heard from him again.
Seriously. Crickets, lol. Which I find to be HILARIOUS since the week before he was telling me how he wanted me to meet his parents, lol. Like, I'm not even mad. I'm kind of impressed, haha. Never have I experienced this with a guy, this staying power.
So, that's done I guess. Eh, oh well. At least I got it out of the way.
