Today I Hate Exercising

More than usual.

I make it very plain that I do NOT like to exercise. To exercise I need to be tricked into it, like, dancing. I will dance until my face melts off. But to set out to run on the treadmill or the elliptical? PSH. I get bored.

I get tired.

I get over it, RULL fast.

It's a regular mental Game of Thrones and there's ALL KINDS of "Red Wedding" going on in my brain.

I've started going to this class called Pop Physique. It's AHMAHZING (you're welcome, Wil). It's a mixture of pilates and ballet barre and it is probably one of the hardest classes I've taken. But we listen to house music and the workout is split into threes- arms/chest, legs/ass, abs. And in between each big workout are long stretch sessions so you feel really long after you leave. You can visit the website here.

Anyway. The reason for the title.

You know those days that are just...annoying? They're not bad but they're not particularly good, either. They're typically Mondays. Well, today, mes amis, I had one of those annoying days and it continued into my class. I wasn't really into going anyway, but, Fatty McFatterson has begun her slow return and that bitch needs to stay back (plus, there are way too many restaurants in this city for me to just order a salad).

The annoying bit starts even before I leave the apartment- I can't find the partner to the the freaking $10 sock I have to wear for this class. Oh, I should have mentioned, this class is the typical white girl-lulu lemon yoga pants-i have to wear fancy socks- type of class. Obviously this is the type of class I would like. Anyway, lost sock = annoying. Thanks, dryer.

I get to class and then it really starts. Here's just some of the thoughts going on in my head:

"ugh God i don't wanna be here"
"i have to do this....i don't want to but I have to...."
"...is she....really? REALLY?! THE PRIMA BALLERINA IS GONNA SIT NEXT TO ME?! TODAY?!!? OF ALL DAYS?! Is it too late to bail?"
"ugh. sure. you're all bendy. thanks for showing off. and do you really have to wear the ballet slippers? and the top knot is a bit much. whatever."
"[teacher] is gonna wear a scarf the whole time? sure you get to look cute while we sweat our balls off. i really want her cartier bracelet. doesn't she worry that it's gonna get messed up?"
"i'm a really hateful person. what's wrong with me? c'mon endorphins...."
"this is really hard"
"breathe. breathe. breathe. breathe. breatheohmygodbreathe. breatheholyjesusbreathe"
"she's really skinny. she kinda looks like my old roommate. huh."
"OH COME ON, BALLERINA!"
"i really should be focusing on what i'm doing..."
"oh fuck. legs."
"FUCK MY LEGS"
"i'm gonna puke. i'm gonna pukeFUCKMYLEGS"
"[teacher] hates me. oh she hates me. she totally knows i'm cheating. whatever."
"i'm done. can we be done?"
"i really need to stop staring at [the ballerina]. she probably knows i'm looking. how is she so bendy?! she probably goes to yoga all the time. i should go to yoga. no i shouldn't, i hate yoga"
"DAMMIT, JANE FONDA!"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
"ha. ballerina has no ass. at least i have an ass."
"HOLYFUCKINGSHITBALLSMYASSHURTSOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW"
"abs. abs. lets do this."
"omgggggggggggggggggggg this stretch feels so good."
"ya know...happy baby pose is really weird but this feels great. oh my hips....ow. ow. ow."
"yep. i'm still in a terrible mood."

I really did throw a lot of shade at Ms. Ballerina, lol. I'm not proud but, oh well.

As much as I hated working out today, I did it and I'm proud of myself. Let's just hope I keep it up this week.

Later, gators.

*tap tap* Is This Thing On?

Well, hello there. How goes it blog friend?

It's funny- blogging has gone the way of all my diaries growing up. I get it because I HAVE to have it, I write a couple entries and then I forget where I hide it until I really need it. But I have to say, I miss writing. I keep talking about how I'm going to write a book so I really need to get to work on what said book is going to be about.

Things are good. Busy, but good. Still trying to figure my life out, but, who isn't? Especially being in 20-something land. Speaking of, I celebrated my 27th birthday last month. HOLY BALLS. I. am. Twenty. Seven. Is this what it's supposed to feel like? I don't feel a day over 20 and I am nowhere near where I thought I'd be at this age. I still laugh when I think of how I had planned my life. The two options that I had given myself were 1. A successful actress, either on TV or in film. Possibly an owner of an Oscar and dripping in designers and men. 2. A successful actress who is married. EL OH EL, Life. EL OH EL.

About once a month I have a quarter-life crisis cathartic cry (ahhh the alliteration...) and go over where I'm at and what I want to do. But here's the kicker- I have no idea what I want to do. Or, I do, and I'm too afraid to say it out loud. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid if I say it out loud that I'll be disappointed or someone else will be disappointed. Or that I automatically talk myself out of it because it's not "doable" or "financially smart". I don't really know. And on top of that it doesn't help seeing all these articles about Gen Y-ers (or "GYPSYS" as one writer affectionately refers to us) about how we're entitled and have this inflated sense of self. What if I'm not as good as I think I am? What if I'm not as fabulous as I know I am? What if I need to stop having this idea for myself that I should be more? Fuck I hate the what ifs.

I don't know. I just want to mean something. I want it all to mean something. But how do I do that?

Wow. This post got all intense really fast, haha. Sorry! I do have some funny posts planned because, me and my life. So, until then mes amis....